i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
