I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
