there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
