69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
