I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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