I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
