I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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