just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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