Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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