Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
