I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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