I think i peed on brittanys purse
honey bunches of taint.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize