And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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