ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
