It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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