two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
