he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Go christen that room with your naked body.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
