just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
