He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So. Much. Porn.
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