he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
