YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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