So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
