I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize