her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
