i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
is wine microwaveable?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
