do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
