The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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