She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
