Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Even the bartender felt bad for me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
