Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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