he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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