I love black thongs
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
