big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
