i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
