So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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