PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
