Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
