I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
