he was CRYING into my vagina
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My bed smells like the plague
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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