He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
