She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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