Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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