i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
