Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
