I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize