I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
