i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
