don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
