Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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