operation have a gay friend backfired
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
