So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize