pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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