hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
