He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
