Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
