if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
