So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
being pregnant is like rehab
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize