i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize