Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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