It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
