I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
