Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
