Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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